When was the last time you wrote a letter? Or received one? Perhaps a birthday or Christmas card with a handwritten note?
For many, not recently. I’m guilty of this myself. I have plenty of beautiful paper, but most often, it just sits there. My goal this year is to write to more people more often. Maybe find a pen pal, too.
I’m not sure when we stopped writing. I can remember my mom sitting and writing out long letters to place in Christmas cards. I send Christmas cards, but rarely write a letter to go with it. And I’m not fond of the yearly, generic typed letter that many send out.
So, what happened? Probably iphones and the internet. We can simply text someone, send an email, and, too my dismay, send an emoji.
I hate emoji’s. Did we forget words? I mean, people will post on social media about a death. In the comment section, I see a lot of 💔 or 😥. I’m guilty of it myself. I do write words, but many comments are simply a computer generated picture. Hardly a comfort. Only an acknowledgment.
Can a picture paint a thousand words?
No. It really cannot. Only words can do that.
The other thing about texts and emoji’s is that we cannot keep them and cherish them.
Let me share a story or two.
I had a patient in Boston who was dying from a chronic illness. She hated her phone. She didn’t like texts. When her friends or family would text her, she would reply, please write me a letter. So they did! And when I would visit her, she would show me the letters and cards she had received. It gave her something to look forward to. She made a ritual out of it. When a card or letter arrived, she would have them placed on the table next to her bed. Then she would have her caregiver make her a cup of tea, and then she would read the letters.
She had a stack of them and would reread them as well. This comforted her and made her very happy. All from a bit of time, a piece of paper and envelope, and a 55 cent stamp.
Imagine the power of that inexpensive, simple gesture.
I had another patient who was a prolific letter writer, and toward the end of her life, wrote everyone a beautiful letter, including me. What a grand legacy to leave someone! And so simple. So elegant. So meaningful.
So, next time it’s a birthday, send a card instead of that 🎉🎂. Or at least, at the very least, write words.
And, when someone means something to you, send them that in writing. Could you imagine how happier you would be getting that in the mailbox instead of just bills or junk mail?
I recently went to my mailbox to retrieve my mail after several days and was thrilled to get a birthday card from my friend Kim. It made my day. (Thanks Kim!)
So, get writing. If you need inspiration, here’s one more story I will share.
When my dad died, I was really sad. One thing that stood out for me were two letters I received. Both from people who knew him and wrote, not just to tell me how sorry they were of his passing, but to write and share a memory they had of him. And they were sweet and funny. I cherished those letters and keep them to this day.
And you just cannot do that with an emoji.
“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”
~ Dostoyevsky
Another thought-provoking essay, my friend! I still write letters & cards to my friends & family. I simply love to receive them, too. I usually do not make New Year resolutions, but I did make one this year — - to hand-write each of my siblings & close family on their birthday to tell them, specifically, how much I love them, cite their individual traits & personality quirks I find special, & to let them know how precious they are to me. Eulogies are full of these loving sentiments —- I’m not waiting until a loved one dies to tell them how special they are to me. ❤️ (Sorry for the emoji)
It is a year and a day since this post by you and I am just reading it. A question: how many hand written letters have you managed? I write with a fountain pen to friends, not nearly as often as I intend, and I don’t post to paperbag stories because I write with my pen, but then life gets in the way and I don’t type the stories up! I like your thoughtfulness. Robert 🐰